Funny story: 70-year-old widow posts single ad in newspaper

Getting back into the dating world can be strange, and intimidating, especially if it has been a long time since we were last single. But the most important lesson to remember is that it’s important to stay open to others and not judge anyone too quick.

In this funny story I came across online, that’s exactly what a 70-year-old widow had to experience. She was home when suddenly her doorbell rang… but she never expected to see who was on the other side.

Read the full hilarious joke below — and make sure you read until the punchline. Oh, if you appreciated the story, you’re more than welcome to share with others to give them a good laugh too!

A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again…

She put an ad in the local newspaper that read:

“Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person.”

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

“You’re not really asking me to consider you, are you?” the widow asked: “Just look at you — you have no legs!”

The old gent smiled: “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”

“You don’t have any arms either!” she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: “Therefore, I can never beat you!”

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: “Are you still good in bed?”

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: “I rang the doorbell, didn’t I?”

Shutterstock

Source: Reddit

Why not help cheer a friend up? Share this joke and help give someone a good laugh! 

Related Posts

Ink He Never Meant To Share

Pain didn’t scare him. Judgment didn’t touch him. For years, he carved rebellion into his own body and called it freedom, a walking provocation wrapped in scar…

Love After the Last Goodbye

She swore she was done. Done with chances, done with heartbreak, done with believing love could be anything but a prelude to loss. Years of quiet survival…

One Breath, No Return

They thought they had time. They thought love, rules, and knowing her friends’ names could build a wall high enough to keep the worst things out. Esra…

When “Wellness” Turns Violent

She called it discipline. They called it inspiration. Every compliment felt like fuel poured on a quiet, growing fire she mistook for control. The smaller she became,…

Negotiating With Boiling Water

The first time you cut into a hard‑boiled egg and see that sickly green ring, it feels like proof you’ve ruined something simple. It stares back like…

When Mockery Met Its Match

They turned her into content. A stranger’s face, ripped from context, passed around like a punchline no one thought could bleed. The laughs were loud; the damage…